The Stoic Mom
  • Stoicism, parenting, and modern life
  • About
  • Follow
  • Contact

​​​BECAUSE WE COULD ALL USE
A LITTLE WISDOM

"Why" Parenting

1/14/2017

1 Comment

 
Do you remember when you were a kid - and you constantly asked ‘why’? Most children do.
 
Fun questions about the world, like,
Why is the sky blue?
Why do clouds look like cotton candy?
Why do fish open their mouths underwater?
Why do bees sting?
 
Or questions about everyday things, like,
Why do I need to take a bath?
Why do I have to eat vegetables?
Why do I need to clean my room?
Why do I have to wear a jacket outside?
Why can’t I eat all my Halloween candy at once?
Why do I have to change my socks/underwear/clothes every day?
 
The list goes on and on.
 
I’ve tried to bring reason and logic to my kids’ lives by explaining why in many, many cases. It’s time consuming and sometimes even annoying. But I think it is worth it.
 
That's based on my own experience. Growing up, I was lucky enough to have explainer parents, not “because I said so” parents. This made me a more independent and responsible adult than I might have been otherwise. I kept asking questions, but as I got older, I always tried to do my own thinking to come up with reasonable answers. 
 
I’m going to call this “why” parenting. I think the Stoic philosophers would heartily approve of this style of relating to kids. Ancient Stoic thinkers believed that we all have a “share of the divine” within us—and that is our reason. It is what provides us our ability to think logically. We can use it to understand our world and our actions in it.
 
“Why” parenting helps kids—and the adults they grow into—become more rational and willing to use their own internal power of reason to figure things out. Rather than blindly look to authority figures or tradition or habit as the source for all knowledge and action, asking why grows a person’s ability to think things through and decide what’s right. And, I hope, the backbone to stand behind that decision.
 
So the extra minutes a parent spends explaining things to a kid are valuable.  So, too, are those times when adults let kids just try out things to discover the "why" themselves. (Within reason, of course. Nothing too dangerous!)

If I explain that you need to wear a jacket because you’ll be freezing cold outside…. Well, it’s OK if you try going outside for a few minutes and see what it feels like. Or if you want to eat all your Halloween candy at once…. You will likely feel a stomach ache after the first pile. Or if you think your dirty socks are just fine…. Maybe try smelling them closely. That’ll wake up your inner germaphobe!
 
As kids get older, they understand cause and effect much more readily. But starting young doesn’t hurt. It develops the mind. And that’s really the point of all this philosophy and education stuff, isn’t it?

1 Comment

    About The Stoic Mom

    I'm a writer, editor, and mom to two daughters in Northern California on a journey to discover how Stoic philosophy and mindful approaches can change a parent's - or any person's - life.

    To subscribe to my newsletter and receive all my posts, visit 
    The Stoic Mom Substack !
    ​

    Follow me on Twitter:
    @thestoicwoman

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Art/Craft
    Blogging
    Body Image
    Children
    Compassion
    Compassion Cultivation Training
    Culture
    Education
    Enlightenment
    Epictetus
    Happiness
    Life Philosophy
    Marcus Aurelius
    Meditation
    Memento Mori
    Mindfulness
    Mistakes
    Modern Life
    Mortality
    Motherhood
    Negative Thinking
    Parenting
    Perfectionism
    Psychology
    Seneca
    Senses
    Stoicism
    Stoic Philosophy
    Stoic Week
    Teaching
    Technology
    Teens
    The Body
    Virtues
    Work

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    February 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Stoicism, parenting, and modern life
  • About
  • Follow
  • Contact